27.4.09

Home


Too many years making us one,
So much to think about but not while alone.

You go away for awhile 
My smile unwillingly fades.

Loving our boys and keeping so busy doesn't help,
without you feels so wrong.

It's the empty space on our pillows,
The bedside prayers that go unsaid.

Missing the greatest father ever, 
though silent, in their actions you sure can tell.

So many ordinary things; I don't know what it is
that I yearn for the most.

A kiss in the dawn or the same in the night, or a hand hold, a hug-
the absences of which just are not right.

Conversations on the phone:
Listening to your voice- for now it will suffice.

I know you'd too rather be here than away-
home rather than the office anywhere; for both of us it's that way.

Is it your voice?
Your smile?
Your touch?

My security and hope goes with you on nights like this.
Endless nights and longer days leave me dreading the restless slumber.

My mind fills as my heart floods void of our ordinary.
Of all that I wish for,
It's your presence. 

Just you being here and nothing more.
Come home and make it home to me once again.

I love and miss you, Babe. <3

Home


Too many years making us one,
So much to think about but not while alone.

You go away for awhile 
My smile unwillingly fades.

Loving our boys and keeping so busy doesn't help,
without you feels so wrong.

It's the empty space on our pillows,
The bedside prayers that go unsaid.

Missing the greatest father ever, 
though silent, in their actions you sure can tell.

So many ordinary things; I don't know what it is
that I yearn for the most.

A kiss in the dawn or the same in the night, or a hand hold, a hug-
the absences of which just are not right.

Conversations on the phone:
Listening to your voice- for now it will suffice.

I know you'd too rather be here than away-
home rather than the office anywhere; for both of us it's that way.

Is it your voice?
Your smile?
Your touch?

My security and hope goes with you on nights like this.
Endless nights and longer days leave me dreading the restless slumber.

My mind fills as my heart floods void of our ordinary.
Of all that I wish for,
It's your presence. 

Just you being here and nothing more.
Come home and make it home to me once again.

I love and miss you, Babe. <3

23.4.09

More please!


Yesterday, 
Nicholas 
comes
running 
into
my 
room 
to 
make 
his 
announcement of the hour. 
Holding 
up
his
hand 
high 
he 
exclaimed,
"Next time you're at the grocery store or somethin' like that, I need more of these." 
pause.
deep breath.
"I
just 
ran 
out."


A
careful
second 
look
revealed
the 
great
mystery
in 
his 
hand...




his last pair of new socks.

More please!


Yesterday, 
Nicholas 
comes
running 
into
my 
room 
to 
make 
his 
announcement of the hour. 
Holding 
up
his
hand 
high 
he 
exclaimed,
"Next time you're at the grocery store or somethin' like that, I need more of these." 
pause.
deep breath.
"I
just 
ran 
out."


A
careful
second 
look
revealed
the 
great
mystery
in 
his 
hand...




his last pair of new socks.

There He Is!


Like a mall on Christmas Eve, the complex was buzzing: people hurrying about with great urgency were every where. Some in jerseys and cleats warming up on the fields, bouncing in the dugouts, huddling with their coaches or just leaning on a fence. Each face was set with a mix of eagerness, determination and anxiety. On the bleachers the guises of the fans were masked- nearly to entirety- by the warmest blankets an April carload could carry. This clear full-moon lit night was surprisingly and bitterly cold following a beautiful summer-like day. Bustling with energy both from the players and the full moon, the games finally began. 
Watching Nicholas in perpetual motion and always with the fear of a foul ball finding his little head, I sometimes have a hard time keeping track of Mitchel. I don't know why. He sure stands out in a crowd of peers: size 15 feet does that to a boy. Yet again, I find my self in that familiar and semi-panicking search; where's my son?
On my tip-toe, crouching down, crooking my neck in ways I never realized were possible, thinking on several occasions that I see him, but it was just hopeful wishing.  Then I know. There he is. THAT is my son.  Again, all is right with the world. I doesn't matter what he's doing or  not doing. Playing first base or sitting on the bench for the inning, covered from head to toe in his catcher's gear or swinging away at the plate-none of that matters just as long as I can see him. It never fails: he catches my eye and I reap a Mitchel smile. Life is good. I just love him-because of who he is; not because of what he does. 

I Samuel 1:27 For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him.

There He Is!


Like a mall on Christmas Eve, the complex was buzzing: people hurrying about with great urgency were every where. Some in jerseys and cleats warming up on the fields, bouncing in the dugouts, huddling with their coaches or just leaning on a fence. Each face was set with a mix of eagerness, determination and anxiety. On the bleachers the guises of the fans were masked- nearly to entirety- by the warmest blankets an April carload could carry. This clear full-moon lit night was surprisingly and bitterly cold following a beautiful summer-like day. Bustling with energy both from the players and the full moon, the games finally began. 
Watching Nicholas in perpetual motion and always with the fear of a foul ball finding his little head, I sometimes have a hard time keeping track of Mitchel. I don't know why. He sure stands out in a crowd of peers: size 15 feet does that to a boy. Yet again, I find my self in that familiar and semi-panicking search; where's my son?
On my tip-toe, crouching down, crooking my neck in ways I never realized were possible, thinking on several occasions that I see him, but it was just hopeful wishing.  Then I know. There he is. THAT is my son.  Again, all is right with the world. I doesn't matter what he's doing or  not doing. Playing first base or sitting on the bench for the inning, covered from head to toe in his catcher's gear or swinging away at the plate-none of that matters just as long as I can see him. It never fails: he catches my eye and I reap a Mitchel smile. Life is good. I just love him-because of who he is; not because of what he does. 

I Samuel 1:27 For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him.

Not by Sight


Instead of staying for Sunday School today, we dropped off Mitchel and his friend and headed to CVS for yet some other medicine for Nicholas' goopy, swollen, and unwillingly pollinated eye. Troy had to go back in to the store a second and third time to exchange the wrong box I picked up and then to get some money back on the transaction. In the mean time, Nicholas and I were singing in the car.
"I'm in-right, out-right, up-right, down-right happy all the time... Since Jesus Christ came in and washed my heart from sin; I'm in-right, out-right, up-right, down-right happy all the time!"
"Nicholas, do you know what sin is? It's the wrong things we choose to do, right?"
"Yep, Mom."
We sing some more and his realization is met with incredible excitement.
"HE, Jesus, can take away my sins?"
"Yes Honey. The Bible says that when we ask Him to, He does just that."
I see him thinking and he holds out his hand from the back in his car seat. I reach my hand back to him as he says, "Come on, Mom." I've never been more in love with this boy than at this very moment.
Just then Troy comes back in the car and he's talking about his third time's a charm return to the cashier whom I'm sure is glad he's left the building at this point. Knowing what was on Nicholas' heart, I told Troy, "Shhhh, listen..."
Nicholas had his folded hands up to his face as he simply prayed, "Jesus, please forgive me and take away my sins. Amen."
Troy was in awe, a tender, tearful awe for he didn't know what had been taking place in the car for the moments he was in CVS. Every night after bed time prayers, Troy has asked the Lord that Nicholas would accept Him at an early age and live a life that would please Him.  For this day, all he knew is that he was on a mission to heal his son's eye. 
All the while, God was on a mission to heal his heart. Praise the Lord! This conversation has come up again and again. Nicholas seems to be confident and clear in his prayer and the who, what, why of his prayer. God is a promise keeper: He created us, loves us and when invited to, forgives us! The faith of a child was so indubitably displayed to us on Sunday, April 19, 2009. May I never forget it.

For we walk by faith and not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

Not by Sight


Instead of staying for Sunday School today, we dropped off Mitchel and his friend and headed to CVS for yet some other medicine for Nicholas' goopy, swollen, and unwillingly pollinated eye. Troy had to go back in to the store a second and third time to exchange the wrong box I picked up and then to get some money back on the transaction. In the mean time, Nicholas and I were singing in the car.
"I'm in-right, out-right, up-right, down-right happy all the time... Since Jesus Christ came in and washed my heart from sin; I'm in-right, out-right, up-right, down-right happy all the time!"
"Nicholas, do you know what sin is? It's the wrong things we choose to do, right?"
"Yep, Mom."
We sing some more and his realization is met with incredible excitement.
"HE, Jesus, can take away my sins?"
"Yes Honey. The Bible says that when we ask Him to, He does just that."
I see him thinking and he holds out his hand from the back in his car seat. I reach my hand back to him as he says, "Come on, Mom." I've never been more in love with this boy than at this very moment.
Just then Troy comes back in the car and he's talking about his third time's a charm return to the cashier whom I'm sure is glad he's left the building at this point. Knowing what was on Nicholas' heart, I told Troy, "Shhhh, listen..."
Nicholas had his folded hands up to his face as he simply prayed, "Jesus, please forgive me and take away my sins. Amen."
Troy was in awe, a tender, tearful awe for he didn't know what had been taking place in the car for the moments he was in CVS. Every night after bed time prayers, Troy has asked the Lord that Nicholas would accept Him at an early age and live a life that would please Him.  For this day, all he knew is that he was on a mission to heal his son's eye. 
All the while, God was on a mission to heal his heart. Praise the Lord! This conversation has come up again and again. Nicholas seems to be confident and clear in his prayer and the who, what, why of his prayer. God is a promise keeper: He created us, loves us and when invited to, forgives us! The faith of a child was so indubitably displayed to us on Sunday, April 19, 2009. May I never forget it.

For we walk by faith and not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

16.4.09

I said, EMERGENCY!

Game two. It's been a long day-scratch that-month. It's been a long month regarding baseball game scheduling. Mitchel is in his glory and that's pretty much where he stays. We, his brother, father and I are every where else. The playground, the car, the bleachers, the ground, the bathrooms or port-a-potty if we're really unlucky... anywhere but home. I love watching Mitchel enjoying life but as they say, it ain't easy. The last time I really saw an entire game was 2003-and before he became a big brother.
Finally we had a beautiful day to be outdoors. The cool wind blew the ever so blossoming trees to and fro.  I could swear Nicholas was faster than anything or anyone I'd ever seen, but nope. That pollen was able to catch up with him and it appeared to have knocked him with a one-two punch. His poor little eyes resembled  a drunken man's face after losing a bar fight.  
Attempting to avoid a visit to this teams' port-a-potty, we drove around the neighboring roads looking for a McDonald's or the like. CVS was the closest we could find; thankfully we got off track just exactly where we needed to be. I went in and bought some allergy eye-drops for my little guy.  I was a bit concerned after reading the sign on the door: "Please leave all book bags and large bags at the front counter." Hmmm, and despite the fact that Troy "knew where a McDs was" AND we have a GPS that would TELL US, we still ended up in a bad area of town and nowhere near a McDonald's.  (Nicholas eyes were feeling better, but I still had to pee.)
Back we went. I was all in favor of hitting "emergency" on the GPS, but didn't dare suggest that to Mr. City Tour Guide. Home would have been OK by me at this point, too. Never the less, back at the field Nicholas and I use the johnny house that is by now deemed as his favorite. Great. It was a long first inning. Forty-five minutes long and at the end of it we were up 9-0. It didn't get much better from there- for the other team or for Nicholas' eyes.
We left the game and headed home to change for game two of the day. Instead of worrying about sunburn, we'd now pack blankets for protection from frost bite. Thankfully we were in our back yard for this game. That meant that when Nicholas asked to stay here at home with Nanny, it was a possibility. Tub time. PJ time. Go time. Wait. Nanny's age tends to scare me into crazy mindsets. So, I dialed my cell using our home phone and showed Nicholas how to get a hold of me in an emergency. (And to think some parents teach their children to dial 9-1-1 for that reason.) Out we go. 
I think we were a good 500 feet up the road when the name on the screen of our car read "HOME" as my phone rang. "Yes?" 
"Mommy, Nanny wants mac & cheese."
Sigh. What have I done here? Mitchel chimes in from the back seat, "Way to go, Mom!"
I didn't take that in a congratulatory way whatsoever.  After explaining to my new five year old that mac & cheese was not an emergency, we hung up.
On the rest of the three minute drive to the field, I remember that it was our turn to bring snacks. Snacks that I had not thought of in this 8 game week. Out of my car with the guys and the gear and off to the store. Surely CVS would have cold drinks and cheap chips, right? 
Oh, I changed my ring tone today to "I'm Yours." LOVE that song and it's a good thing because I was listening to it once again. "Hello."
"Mommy?"
"Yes, Goo. Are you OK?"
"Nanny's crying again; she cries when I call you."
Hurriedly, I leave the store and storm home after telling my wonderful dear son that this too was not an emergency. "Get dressed to go with me to the game, I'll be home in a few minutes to get you."
Since I was home, I loaded up the cooler with snacks and drinks for the team. Going into the house I notice that Nicholas was in Nanny's room laughing and having a good time. Still in his PJ's he peeks through her opened door; clearly his eyes were still sorely losing the battle. My eagerness to get him out of there faded fast. He was in no shape to be outside for anything. I fixed the two of them a snack and drink. Put some more drops in his eyes and then I sat him up on the table.
"Listen to me," I started. "An emergency is when Nanny is lying on the floor and can't get up. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Mommy."
Off I went, this time more sure of my decision to leave them home alone together.
But I have to tell you, it was the fifth inning when I saw the Black Hawk helicopter circling the fields and our home's area. I thought for sure he'd called in the troops because Nanny was crying again. Nah, they were both in one piece when we got back home tonight. No emergencies but I sure was worn out!

I said, EMERGENCY!

Game two. It's been a long day-scratch that-month. It's been a long month regarding baseball game scheduling. Mitchel is in his glory and that's pretty much where he stays. We, his brother, father and I are every where else. The playground, the car, the bleachers, the ground, the bathrooms or port-a-potty if we're really unlucky... anywhere but home. I love watching Mitchel enjoying life but as they say, it ain't easy. The last time I really saw an entire game was 2003-and before he became a big brother.
Finally we had a beautiful day to be outdoors. The cool wind blew the ever so blossoming trees to and fro.  I could swear Nicholas was faster than anything or anyone I'd ever seen, but nope. That pollen was able to catch up with him and it appeared to have knocked him with a one-two punch. His poor little eyes resembled  a drunken man's face after losing a bar fight.  
Attempting to avoid a visit to this teams' port-a-potty, we drove around the neighboring roads looking for a McDonald's or the like. CVS was the closest we could find; thankfully we got off track just exactly where we needed to be. I went in and bought some allergy eye-drops for my little guy.  I was a bit concerned after reading the sign on the door: "Please leave all book bags and large bags at the front counter." Hmmm, and despite the fact that Troy "knew where a McDs was" AND we have a GPS that would TELL US, we still ended up in a bad area of town and nowhere near a McDonald's.  (Nicholas eyes were feeling better, but I still had to pee.)
Back we went. I was all in favor of hitting "emergency" on the GPS, but didn't dare suggest that to Mr. City Tour Guide. Home would have been OK by me at this point, too. Never the less, back at the field Nicholas and I use the johnny house that is by now deemed as his favorite. Great. It was a long first inning. Forty-five minutes long and at the end of it we were up 9-0. It didn't get much better from there- for the other team or for Nicholas' eyes.
We left the game and headed home to change for game two of the day. Instead of worrying about sunburn, we'd now pack blankets for protection from frost bite. Thankfully we were in our back yard for this game. That meant that when Nicholas asked to stay here at home with Nanny, it was a possibility. Tub time. PJ time. Go time. Wait. Nanny's age tends to scare me into crazy mindsets. So, I dialed my cell using our home phone and showed Nicholas how to get a hold of me in an emergency. (And to think some parents teach their children to dial 9-1-1 for that reason.) Out we go. 
I think we were a good 500 feet up the road when the name on the screen of our car read "HOME" as my phone rang. "Yes?" 
"Mommy, Nanny wants mac & cheese."
Sigh. What have I done here? Mitchel chimes in from the back seat, "Way to go, Mom!"
I didn't take that in a congratulatory way whatsoever.  After explaining to my new five year old that mac & cheese was not an emergency, we hung up.
On the rest of the three minute drive to the field, I remember that it was our turn to bring snacks. Snacks that I had not thought of in this 8 game week. Out of my car with the guys and the gear and off to the store. Surely CVS would have cold drinks and cheap chips, right? 
Oh, I changed my ring tone today to "I'm Yours." LOVE that song and it's a good thing because I was listening to it once again. "Hello."
"Mommy?"
"Yes, Goo. Are you OK?"
"Nanny's crying again; she cries when I call you."
Hurriedly, I leave the store and storm home after telling my wonderful dear son that this too was not an emergency. "Get dressed to go with me to the game, I'll be home in a few minutes to get you."
Since I was home, I loaded up the cooler with snacks and drinks for the team. Going into the house I notice that Nicholas was in Nanny's room laughing and having a good time. Still in his PJ's he peeks through her opened door; clearly his eyes were still sorely losing the battle. My eagerness to get him out of there faded fast. He was in no shape to be outside for anything. I fixed the two of them a snack and drink. Put some more drops in his eyes and then I sat him up on the table.
"Listen to me," I started. "An emergency is when Nanny is lying on the floor and can't get up. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Mommy."
Off I went, this time more sure of my decision to leave them home alone together.
But I have to tell you, it was the fifth inning when I saw the Black Hawk helicopter circling the fields and our home's area. I thought for sure he'd called in the troops because Nanny was crying again. Nah, they were both in one piece when we got back home tonight. No emergencies but I sure was worn out!

13.4.09

Empty but good...

Running on empty
Empty nest
Empty arms
Empty heart
Empty thoughts
Empty titles

Empty usually carries with it a negative connotation. 

At Grandma and Grandpa's house for Easter, a couple of bunnies (aka Josh and Mitchel) decided to prepare an egg hunt for the three little ones. It was obvious that Nathaniel was both the oldest and the most experienced hunter of the bunch. Coming in equally unacquainted with the whole process was Nicholas and Leilana. Yet, with basket in hand,  off they all ran each in their own direction. As wonderful as it was to see the excitement of a three year old finding an egg, it was Nicholas' take on Easter Egg Hunting that caught me off guard. I should have expected no less with him. 
Each of them could have ten eggs; there were 30 hidden. Apparently that somehow meant to Nicholas that there was no hurry, but still...  After each search and find,  he'd stoop down close to the grass, set his basket on the ground and with great purpose he'd then take apart his egg. One by one he continued. I was perplexed as I watched him repeat this cycle.  Keeping count of how many eggs he'd already found was no easy task  since his eggs were all opened and tossed about. And he guarded his finds, so getting close was a bit dangerous at times!
Finally I figured it out. Candy! He wasn't hunting for eggs at all.  HE was hunting for candy. That's why the empty and opened eggs were hurriedly scattered around the yard; that's why he carefully stopped after each find, and that's why his basket was full of carefully wrapped candy but void of pretty plastic eggs.
In this case, empty was a good thing. Because the egg was empty, his basket was full.
What an awesome reminder of the tomb. Because the tomb was empty, our lives can be full. 
Matthew 28:6 He is not here; for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.


Empty but good...

Running on empty
Empty nest
Empty arms
Empty heart
Empty thoughts
Empty titles

Empty usually carries with it a negative connotation. 

At Grandma and Grandpa's house for Easter, a couple of bunnies (aka Josh and Mitchel) decided to prepare an egg hunt for the three little ones. It was obvious that Nathaniel was both the oldest and the most experienced hunter of the bunch. Coming in equally unacquainted with the whole process was Nicholas and Leilana. Yet, with basket in hand,  off they all ran each in their own direction. As wonderful as it was to see the excitement of a three year old finding an egg, it was Nicholas' take on Easter Egg Hunting that caught me off guard. I should have expected no less with him. 
Each of them could have ten eggs; there were 30 hidden. Apparently that somehow meant to Nicholas that there was no hurry, but still...  After each search and find,  he'd stoop down close to the grass, set his basket on the ground and with great purpose he'd then take apart his egg. One by one he continued. I was perplexed as I watched him repeat this cycle.  Keeping count of how many eggs he'd already found was no easy task  since his eggs were all opened and tossed about. And he guarded his finds, so getting close was a bit dangerous at times!
Finally I figured it out. Candy! He wasn't hunting for eggs at all.  HE was hunting for candy. That's why the empty and opened eggs were hurriedly scattered around the yard; that's why he carefully stopped after each find, and that's why his basket was full of carefully wrapped candy but void of pretty plastic eggs.
In this case, empty was a good thing. Because the egg was empty, his basket was full.
What an awesome reminder of the tomb. Because the tomb was empty, our lives can be full. 
Matthew 28:6 He is not here; for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.


11.4.09

A River Runs through it...

By coincidence, my husband and I ended up with a child-free (and commitment void) day. We can't remember when our last day alone was and when surprisingly faced with this welcomed gift, we had no idea what to do. Sleeping in was a treat. Running those pesky but necessary errands which kept getting pushed to the background of life was both time consuming and relaxing. No contradiction there on this particular day. 
We ended up going for a late lunch. Chicken and fruit was the plan, and oh I how I needed some real and healthy food after eating on the run nearly every day so far this baseball season. 
When they say "Mile High Nachos," they mean it, and they were delicious. oops!
After dinner (and the customary brew -thru Dick's Sporting Goods), Troy decided to go for a drive. A million things raced through my mind and they all started with, "I need to..." My silent opinion was that I wanted to head home to fulfill all that made my head spin. 
Oblivious to those musings Troy drove on. When we were dating, one of our favorite things to do was drive down by the river. Now the boys love it as much as we use to, but somehow the way we use to experience the journey has changed. Romance and reflection has been replaced with roving ducks and river debris. And that's ok
We journeyed hand in hand, like old times, along the riverside on this cool spring day. Slowly we traveled both the road and the years. We noticed the ducks and debris, the red-buds and the wintry-naked riverbank, and everything in between. Our eyes took in so much, but our hearts overflowed with great memories. Memories that gave birth to our dreams. Dreams which pave the last twenty years of our lives. The reflections were so rich that I think we forgot to close our eyes in favor of new hope. Or, maybe we realize that anything added to our lives from here is just extra. I cannot imagine a wish more wonderful than the life which God has so richly  blessed us with.
Another moment in time that I will forever treasure. It's a memoir in both my mind and my heart, and a river runs through it.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.

A River Runs through it...

By coincidence, my husband and I ended up with a child-free (and commitment void) day. We can't remember when our last day alone was and when surprisingly faced with this welcomed gift, we had no idea what to do. Sleeping in was a treat. Running those pesky but necessary errands which kept getting pushed to the background of life was both time consuming and relaxing. No contradiction there on this particular day. 
We ended up going for a late lunch. Chicken and fruit was the plan, and oh I how I needed some real and healthy food after eating on the run nearly every day so far this baseball season. 
When they say "Mile High Nachos," they mean it, and they were delicious. oops!
After dinner (and the customary brew -thru Dick's Sporting Goods), Troy decided to go for a drive. A million things raced through my mind and they all started with, "I need to..." My silent opinion was that I wanted to head home to fulfill all that made my head spin. 
Oblivious to those musings Troy drove on. When we were dating, one of our favorite things to do was drive down by the river. Now the boys love it as much as we use to, but somehow the way we use to experience the journey has changed. Romance and reflection has been replaced with roving ducks and river debris. And that's ok
We journeyed hand in hand, like old times, along the riverside on this cool spring day. Slowly we traveled both the road and the years. We noticed the ducks and debris, the red-buds and the wintry-naked riverbank, and everything in between. Our eyes took in so much, but our hearts overflowed with great memories. Memories that gave birth to our dreams. Dreams which pave the last twenty years of our lives. The reflections were so rich that I think we forgot to close our eyes in favor of new hope. Or, maybe we realize that anything added to our lives from here is just extra. I cannot imagine a wish more wonderful than the life which God has so richly  blessed us with.
Another moment in time that I will forever treasure. It's a memoir in both my mind and my heart, and a river runs through it.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.

9.4.09

Two & One

It's been a long week and it was only Wednesday- make that Tuesday. After being on the go all day, I had finished up dinner with the boys and was now just sitting at home waiting to see my husband. One of my favorite times in every day is when he comes walking through the door whereby closing the gap and making our family once again complete. Instead of coming home right after work tonight he had to stop and get a haircut across town. So I was wasting time on the computer (which I do too much). As I was surfing the web this guys name came up, our friend's face was in front of me on my Face Book site. I began to look through some of his photos and videos and was just in awe. He's such a great young man and a friend to all. God has surely blessed him with a special gift as well as a beautiful family.  My fingers slowed down before coming to a stop and I began to pray for him. I prayed that he would see the awesomeness of his talents and gifts and that he would listen to God-just listen to what God has to say to him-whatever that means for his life. A pastor had taught me long ago to stop and pray for people when God brings them across my heart and this is something I ordinarily strive to do. God has a reason for stirring my heart in the times and ways He does.
By this time Troy was on his way home. He'd called a couple of times per his norm and I expected him soon. We briefly chatted about this and that but nothing of substance. After I got done praying the phone rang-again. Guess who? Yep, Troy.  I guess, because he's traveling so much, that if he didn't call on his way home there would be days I don't think I'd talk to him at all. Anyway, what he had to say to me was exciting. Humbling even.
On his way home he called and got this guys number. They talked about some things and my husband was encouraging this young man to continue to seek God and to honor him in all he does. To each other they were a blessing. 
So how does it work out that I am at home praying for the same one for which  Troy is tracking down a phone number? Why does the Lord ask me to pray for him at the exact moments that my husband is talking with him and challenging him to stay focused on what God has for his life?  Not a coincidence. No. I believe that this was a manifestation of exactly what God means when He says that two shall become one flesh.
Never in our 20 plus years of marriage have I ever considered this facet of our oneness, but here it was crystal clear in front of me. God told me to pray for my friend but in doing so, I was directly lifting up my husband in prayer. I had no idea what Troy was going to do, we had not been talking about this, but God knew. He knew. He planned it. He ordered it. He carried it through by our obedience to His Spirit's leading. THIS is awesome! Never in a million years would I have seen that coming. I love the Lord-that He loves me, I love!  
Twenty one years together and I finally see it! Two are one.
  Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, 
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

Two & One

It's been a long week and it was only Wednesday- make that Tuesday. After being on the go all day, I had finished up dinner with the boys and was now just sitting at home waiting to see my husband. One of my favorite times in every day is when he comes walking through the door whereby closing the gap and making our family once again complete. Instead of coming home right after work tonight he had to stop and get a haircut across town. So I was wasting time on the computer (which I do too much). As I was surfing the web this guys name came up, our friend's face was in front of me on my Face Book site. I began to look through some of his photos and videos and was just in awe. He's such a great young man and a friend to all. God has surely blessed him with a special gift as well as a beautiful family.  My fingers slowed down before coming to a stop and I began to pray for him. I prayed that he would see the awesomeness of his talents and gifts and that he would listen to God-just listen to what God has to say to him-whatever that means for his life. A pastor had taught me long ago to stop and pray for people when God brings them across my heart and this is something I ordinarily strive to do. God has a reason for stirring my heart in the times and ways He does.
By this time Troy was on his way home. He'd called a couple of times per his norm and I expected him soon. We briefly chatted about this and that but nothing of substance. After I got done praying the phone rang-again. Guess who? Yep, Troy.  I guess, because he's traveling so much, that if he didn't call on his way home there would be days I don't think I'd talk to him at all. Anyway, what he had to say to me was exciting. Humbling even.
On his way home he called and got this guys number. They talked about some things and my husband was encouraging this young man to continue to seek God and to honor him in all he does. To each other they were a blessing. 
So how does it work out that I am at home praying for the same one for which  Troy is tracking down a phone number? Why does the Lord ask me to pray for him at the exact moments that my husband is talking with him and challenging him to stay focused on what God has for his life?  Not a coincidence. No. I believe that this was a manifestation of exactly what God means when He says that two shall become one flesh.
Never in our 20 plus years of marriage have I ever considered this facet of our oneness, but here it was crystal clear in front of me. God told me to pray for my friend but in doing so, I was directly lifting up my husband in prayer. I had no idea what Troy was going to do, we had not been talking about this, but God knew. He knew. He planned it. He ordered it. He carried it through by our obedience to His Spirit's leading. THIS is awesome! Never in a million years would I have seen that coming. I love the Lord-that He loves me, I love!  
Twenty one years together and I finally see it! Two are one.
  Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, 
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

7.4.09

Gotta have it!

Cold.  Usually, warm breezes, bright sunshine and soaking showers are spring- time abundant in Virginia.  Not today. Driving home from an appointment I noticed a little boy with a big struggle. He had all the tools necessary for a successful round of kite flying, but something just wasn't right.
No bigger than the large kite he was agonizingly trying to pull behind him, this young man was giving full effort to the task at hand. Determination was written all over his face, although I couldn't see his eyes, I had no doubt about it; this kid was going to get his kite in the sky. As my car passed forward, he rushed as fast as his little legs could take him in the opposite direction.  I looked down to see an indistinguishable mangle of  kite string and shoe strings. I wondered how long he could keep up his pace before getting tripped up. Only seconds passed before I could no longer see him in my rear view window. Part of me wanted to go back and help him. Another part of me was simply envious as his demeanor displayed a naive ignorance to any potential trouble to his plan.  He had only one thought-run fast enough forward to get that kite of his in the air behind him. Humongous oak tree consuming 90% of his yard? No problem. Family vehicles blocking the driveway straight ahead? Unnoticeable! Those obstacles presented an imminent halt or at least an unplanned pause to his success yet he remained oblivious to each of them. He was focused. He believed. Even the excitement of rushing cars, like mine,  passing him by-though a stone's throw away-didn't draw his attention. They were never seen or heard.  No, this little guy was concentrating on one thing. Not only was he blinded to those roadblocks,  he believed that today his kite would soar. But there was no power to support his belief, for today there was no wind.
How can you break such a tender heart? Such a believing heart? And over a seeming unimportant fact? After all, he had his running shoes on, his kite's string in hand, his jacket thrown hastily over his shoulders and he was moving forward with all his might. Everything that would be on a list of supplies to make it happen was clearly checked as he headed outside to begin his feat. Except the wind. Gotta have it!
Without the power to support his intuition, that kite was going nowhere. Isn't that like our faith? The power of our faith is in Jesus. There is no other who can put action behind our words,  ideas, works and beliefs. 
I Peter 4:11 Whoever speaks must speak God's Words. Whoever serves must serve with the strength God supplies so that in every way God receives glory through Jesus Christ. Glory and power belong to Jesus Christ forever and ever! Amen



...Back at home, my sons and I were pushed from the car door to the front door by the whipping wind. Keep believing little boy-there is power for your faith!

Gotta have it!

Cold.  Usually, warm breezes, bright sunshine and soaking showers are spring- time abundant in Virginia.  Not today. Driving home from an appointment I noticed a little boy with a big struggle. He had all the tools necessary for a successful round of kite flying, but something just wasn't right.
No bigger than the large kite he was agonizingly trying to pull behind him, this young man was giving full effort to the task at hand. Determination was written all over his face, although I couldn't see his eyes, I had no doubt about it; this kid was going to get his kite in the sky. As my car passed forward, he rushed as fast as his little legs could take him in the opposite direction.  I looked down to see an indistinguishable mangle of  kite string and shoe strings. I wondered how long he could keep up his pace before getting tripped up. Only seconds passed before I could no longer see him in my rear view window. Part of me wanted to go back and help him. Another part of me was simply envious as his demeanor displayed a naive ignorance to any potential trouble to his plan.  He had only one thought-run fast enough forward to get that kite of his in the air behind him. Humongous oak tree consuming 90% of his yard? No problem. Family vehicles blocking the driveway straight ahead? Unnoticeable! Those obstacles presented an imminent halt or at least an unplanned pause to his success yet he remained oblivious to each of them. He was focused. He believed. Even the excitement of rushing cars, like mine,  passing him by-though a stone's throw away-didn't draw his attention. They were never seen or heard.  No, this little guy was concentrating on one thing. Not only was he blinded to those roadblocks,  he believed that today his kite would soar. But there was no power to support his belief, for today there was no wind.
How can you break such a tender heart? Such a believing heart? And over a seeming unimportant fact? After all, he had his running shoes on, his kite's string in hand, his jacket thrown hastily over his shoulders and he was moving forward with all his might. Everything that would be on a list of supplies to make it happen was clearly checked as he headed outside to begin his feat. Except the wind. Gotta have it!
Without the power to support his intuition, that kite was going nowhere. Isn't that like our faith? The power of our faith is in Jesus. There is no other who can put action behind our words,  ideas, works and beliefs. 
I Peter 4:11 Whoever speaks must speak God's Words. Whoever serves must serve with the strength God supplies so that in every way God receives glory through Jesus Christ. Glory and power belong to Jesus Christ forever and ever! Amen



...Back at home, my sons and I were pushed from the car door to the front door by the whipping wind. Keep believing little boy-there is power for your faith!

6.4.09

Oreo Whites

In the middle. That's where I'm starting my blogging. Years ago I discovered my desire to write. Desire and opportunity don't always agree.  How many dozens of great ideas and priceless moments that have been sacrificed to this point I can't say, but now-in the middle-is when my life begins to find both a word and page to pause upon.
I can not possibly go back 40 plus years in this minute, nor can I try to immediately recapture the wonders of life since becoming a wife and mother. But I can start with today-- which happens to be the 6th of Musnday, to be exact.
Listening to my sons learn to talk was magical (listening to their never ending chatter now, not so much).  Their little tender voices speaking out thoughts and words often times ingenious of their own understanding captivated my everything. Mitchel was my earliest talker. Being in education, I had some knowledge of early childhood development, but it wasn't until a well baby visit that I realized just how early his verbal skills had begun.
Thump, thumpity-thump-thump, thump, thump-thump...the doctor was about to report that his lungs were clear and his heart was strong, I think. What I do clearly remember is Mitchel's soft, dimply hands grasping the stethoscope, pulling it away while saying, "Stop it!"  I guess it was cold! His doctor told me that she'd never had a nine month old tell her anything before that day. (I should have thought more about this than I did at the time-slow learner begins) Our beagle, Zach, was often the recipient of that command, "Stop it!" Was it that early on in the journey of motherhood when I should have realized that my children would be listening, learning, repeating and living everything I modeled to them? Gosh, I am a slow learner!
There are two other words I vividly remember Mitchel using: Munsday and pocklet. They were his words first and then they were our words. Words that had their meanings conceived in our home; words that made sense-and in a tender, personal way- only to us. His dad and I still use them. They remind us of how wonderful our first born is, how cleverly God has put him together, and how much of an individual he always will be. For us, Monday has been replaced with Munsday and the rainy day pennies are placed deeply into pocklets for safe keeping.
Oreos: the best part of the cookie is in the middle. I hope my middle is the best place to begin giving my musings permanency, because I just did.

Psalm 139:13-14 For you have possessed my reins: you have covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise you; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right well.



Welcome to my journey,
 Tamara
 4-6-09
  Munsdays&Pocklets