7.8.09

Quality Control


The list.

I've been amazed at how many young women have "the" list. Asterisk after asterisk they've penned the prerequisites necessary in any man before they'll even consider calling him Husband. Hmm, should I have thought of that? In retrospect, even without such earmarks there were certain things I always imagined I'd find in the man who would eventually win my heart.

Endearing and enticing, my godly man would indulge in humor, a vie for life, integrity, compassion and a growing and undying love for me. In a name,Troy. I knew when I met him that I had indeed met my knight: the one who God had set apart for me. He knew this was God's appointment for us too! Just days after we met, both of us a bit fearful of this immediate connection, he would inaudibly whisper his love for me, and in turn I'd ask him what he was going to do about it. Thus began our journey together.
Through the years, I've come to learn even more about myself (and a lot more about him) and much more about living life. "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 God's Word can be proved true throughout my life. Tribulations and trials have come. And they have passed. My feet have trod on the peak of the mountains leaving me breathless as the thin air of awe surrounded me. I have trudged through the valleys gasping to catch my breath wondering if even Jesus himself would be able to sustain me. He would. He did. He is a Promise Keeper. I need a promise keeper in my husband and I need so much more.
My husband does possess so many of the qualities I find myself continually longing for, but to go through the ebbs and flow of this life, I need the dependability and certainty of them ALL and all the time. That is an impossible expectation for anyone.
I need to be loved, I need hope. It didn't take long for me to realize that if I'm going to be able to handle what life throws at me, I need a safe place to fall and on someone who doesn't fall Himself. I need rest and restoration, a helper and healer, a teacher and one who can pull me back into the group when I go astray. Physically I have needs too, not just for intimacy, but also for nourishment. Sometimes I thirst for water, other times for knowledge and wisdom. All the time, I need to be loved even when I don't seek out my lover. Forgiveness and to be forgiven are the sources of my hope and future especially when I feel there's no reason or way to go on. His redeeming grace gives me humility to live a life that mirrors all that He is for me.
I have all of this and more in the Lord: my husband, For your Maker is your husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and your Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called Is 54:5.
My greatest blessing in life is the husband God gave to me. He's not perfect, no. He is also not meant to meet all of my needs. In August 1987 as I began my teaching career, the Lord put Troy and I together. No doubt it was God's hand orchestrating quality control for my listless self, but somewhere along the line I put Troy in God's spot. I don't remember when and I do not know why. God had been, was being, and is continuing to be everything I need.
I miss the blessings doubly when I displace Troy and God's roles in my life. Troy can't be God, and what a recipe for disaster that thought pattern is for both me as a woman and for my beloved who wants nothing more than to please me and make me happy. Why would I even want to limit God and all that He is? He chose me for Troy and Troy for me. It isn't always easy, but it is what is perfect and right.
No matter how shiny the armour or how white his noble stead, our own knight will pale in comparison to our Lord. Though my husband may fail to meet each of my needs all the time; that is not to be counted a failure to him, but to me. My expectations are set on the wrong man and my eyes are gazing in the wrong eyes.
Jesus will not fail me. He can and wants to meet my every need, every time. He IS my All in All. I'm so thankful in His infinite wisdom and love, He gave me Troy. I just need to keep Troy on his horse and God on His throne!
Point Of Grace says it so well~
You are my strength when I am weak

You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all
Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all



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